Saturday, 5 March 2016


This personal blog is seriously lacking in my own commitment, I say personal because it's public but who really reads these?

I said it would happen to myself because of the fact that I am an extreme procrastinator and ironically enough; this post is a result of procrastinating from school-related tasks.

But anyway... I am writing to raise the topic of bisexuality, which I believe is an extremely important subject whilst also being interesting to delve in to. Personally, I choose not to explicitly label myself but I do believe that everyone should feel they can-- as being in the LGBTQA+ community does provide many with a sense of identity and purpose, whilst meeting like-minded people along the way!

So without further ado, lets get the formalities out of the way.

Bisexuality is often described as the "romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behaviour toward both males and females" which basically indicates that bisexuals are cool with having a boyfriend or a girlfriend or sleeping with/ having feelings for both men and women. Bisexuality shouldn't be confused with pansexuality/omnisexuality-- whom often describe themselves as 'gender blind'; they are often attracted to "transmen, transwomen, intersex people, androgynous people, and everything else". Bisexuals are more inclusive to two genders

Don't fret if you're confused, as are many people. It is okay to not completely understand labels as the words are long, complicated and there are a lot of them. But please do not turn a blind eye; keep an open mind-- at the end of the day it all boils down to love and feelings, so why should we question it? Sexuality is not always black and white.

The stigma surrounding bisexuals

Everyone's heard it; "bisexuals are greedy", "bisexuals are just experimenting/confused", "bisexuals are just deciding which gender to settle with", "it's just a phase". Quite frankly, I'm tired of hearing it. And the worst part? Bisexuals are often looked down on by members of the LGBTQA+ community, where they are meant to be most accepted! (After all, what do you think the 'B' stands for? Bicycles)? The reason behind this is perhaps because bisexuality is such a grey area compared to people who are adamantly gay or lesbian, for example: some bi people feel more attracted to one gender but are still bisexual, some may enjoy sex with both but romance with one but are still bisexual, some may have not had relationships with both yet but are still bisexual. As you can see, yes, it is more complicated than being sexually and romantically attracted to one gender and many lesbians/gays are put off by the idea of dating bisexuals:

"What Lesbians Think About Bisexuals" from Youtuber Arielle Scarcella is a video in which I found to be mildly irritating and bewildering at the same time.

The video included a bunch of 'elitist'/ 'gold star'/ close-minded lesbians being interviewed by Arielle on what they think of bisexual women. Astonishingly, it's clear that a few of the women on there believe sexuality should either be straight or gay, chocolate or cheese, black or white: very rarely was a positive comment made. These members who claim to be a part of the LGBTQA+ community regard bis with such wonderful words;"greedy", "confused", and "messy", it is a wonder why bisexuals feel discriminated against! What especially made me almost question whether these women had been outside was when the one with the striped shirt describes bi people as being "rare... like unicorns". Give me strength!

Well, lady with the striped shirt. According to the fabulous findings of Gary J.Gates from the Williams Institute: among adults who identify with LGB, bisexuals compromise a slight majority (1.8% compared to 1.7% who identify as lesbian and gay). These results were taken from nine surveys conducted in the past seven years in different continents, sounds pretty legit to me! (I recommend reading into the other results, interesting stuff)!

Anyway, it has literally been proven that people who self-identify as bisexuals are eating, living, breathing everywhere and yet people still think they are rare or confused or greedy? In my opinion, the concept of bisexuality is not celebrated and embraced as much as others. From this video, it appears that many are being silenced and overpowered by their own community. I believe the only way we can highlight this issue, is by openly talking about it, sharing it, accepting it!

Amazing people who are also bisexual

I would like to end this on a positive note, and what better way to finish other than demolishing the disastrous stigma of bisexuality and telling a love story?

Rosie Spaughton is a wife, vegan, outspoken beautiful bisexual and YouTube personality, she also has a blog on here under 'Roxeterawr'! In which she blogs about health, lifestyle and beauty and all that jazz...

I began watching her and her wife Rose Dix back in 2013 under the channel RoseEllenDix (although they were not married at the time) and feel like a proud mother (even though I'm quite a bit younger than them) watching their social media presence grow and alongside that their household, I'm so excited for children!!!  They are truly a funny pair and their hilarious anecdotes and witty banter make them unique to the majority of YouTube personalities; my favourite videos are literally just them sitting down on the sofa and talking about anything and everything.

Alongside this, Rosie also has her own YouTube channel (TheRoxetera) which mainly consists of day-in-the-life style vlogs. However, she has recently started a segment called 'The Bisexy Series' which, as the name suggests, surrounds the topic of bisexuality!

Rosie brilliantly begins the series by bluntly addressing the question that many bisexuals are asked:
who's better in bed? A man or a woman? First of all, she acknowledges that her experience as being bisexual may be different to others and she is not "trying to preach about what is right/ wrong" but is doing this to "bust some myths".

Then the question, for which she says that you cannot just generalise a WHOLE gender into one category of being better at sex; we are all our own person and whether you are good at sex or not is up to the you and not your gender. Factors contributing to this are "how comfortable you feel with this person, how long you've known them, how sexy you're feeling, how body conscious you are, whether you're being treated right, whether you're being forced into something or you're doing it willingly".

She really hits the nail on the head with the stigma surrounding bisexuals: insecurity of others. Referring back to the previous video, the lesbian women expressed insecurities and their concern of the 'greedy' bisexual, would she miss penis and cheat? To this general thought process Rosie simply says "no" and "nothing is lacking when I am with a woman, that is why I'm bisexual". She also addresses insecurity with men she has experienced: "a man could think I would be 100% satisfied with a woman and not need him". At the end of the day whether someone will cheat or leave you doesn't depend on "bisexuality but on personality". You go girl.

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